Healthy Living

How To Actually Lose Weight By Doing the Thing | by Carrie Kolar | Sep, 2021

A writer whose name I cannot recall at the moment (it might have been Emerson? Or Benjamin Franklin? Idk.) once came out with a respectably famous quote: “Do the thing, and you shall have the power.”

(update: it bothered me so much that I actually Googled the quote, and what do you know, it WAS Emerson! Go me.)

And it is crazypants nuts how effective, simple, and fucking hard it is to in fact do the thing. Example: weight loss. Everyone, their brother, uncle, second cousin’s aunt, and probably their neighbor’s cat wants to lose weight.

And like, we all know what we need to do. Eat vegetables. Get sleep. Exercise. Avoid eating an entire cake at one sitting (I can neither confirm nor deny whether I am guilty of that one. Do not listen to the lemon swiss roll, it lies.).

But omfg actually doing it. It takes like, effort and willpower and time and it’s very very annoying. I’ve written before about the concept of small actions done consistently over time yielding extremely lovely results, but the improvement/gainz/whatever are exponential, which means that for the first little bit you don’t see any progress.

Which, for the record, sucks.

And which is why a hell of a lot of people don’t grit their teeth and roll their eyes and actually do the thing.

Which is why clothing sizes are consistently increasing.

Q.E.D.

Losing Weight: Common Sense Actually Works if You Actually Do It

My dudes, I have done more silver-bullet fixes than I can shake a stick at. If there’s an exciting testimonial about instantaneous weight loss on the internet, I am on it. And while they sometimes yield initial results, they’re usually not sustainable. I gained the weight back, along with some newly unhealthy habits to fight.

So finally, despite the deep and intense annoyingness of the initial incremental results, I recently started taking the common sense approach. I started walking 10,000+ steps five days a week. I started weight training. I put down the swiss roll.

And OH. MY. GOD. If you need me I’m going to picking up pieces of my head from around the room where it exploded, because holy shit — it turns out that if you do the thing, you actually do get the power.

WUT.

My dudes, I am honestly flabbergasted. I have resisted putting in the basic and non-exciting long-term effort in weight loss (and in many different areas for many different years) because honest to god, I did not think that worked. If a single superhuman effort did not get the results I wanted, then nothing would ever work and I would be doomed to a life of fruitless mediocrity forever.

(Huh. Note — upon reflection, my brain and I need to have a sit-down and discuss some things. I’m putting it in my calendar. Brain, be prepared.)

But dudes, eating a shitton of vegetables and walking and taking it slow and steady (stupid tortoise being right) actually works. If you need me I’m going to be doing victory laps around my house because this knowledge is life-changing.

Not only did I lose weight, I am now significantly more optimistic about life because follow my logic here — if actually putting in the effort gets the desired results in one area, IT WILL PROBABLY GET THE DESIRED RESULTS IN OTHERS.

Work. Friendships. Relationships. Money. Oh my loving god, I have found the key to literally and actually everything I want in life, so brb, going to have some celebratory coffee.

And it’s going to be decaf, because I bet you anything I can also break my caffeine addiction. I am unstoppable and drunk on power.

Fear, all ye mortals.

Because with this knowledge, we are going to wreck shit.


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