I Am Not Going to Be a Doctor. A Poem | by rieflects | Jun, 2024

When they see your brilliance, they raise the bar,

Expectations climb, both near and far.

I shrug it off, or so I say,

But the pressure builds in every way.

I knock myself down when I trip and fall,

Tears flow when I fail to heed the call.

No honors? Feels like my world’s caving in,

A doctor’s dream, it fills my mind,

Swallowed by doubt, where do I begin?

Yet panic strikes in the daily grind.

Years sewing, yet skills don’t grow,

Straight lines, yes, but creativity’s low.

Others’ needs weigh heavy on my mind,

Not STEM star, my sparkle left behind.

Still seeking my path, my purpose undefined,

Doctor or partner? I wish to find.

Medical dramas spark my yearning strong.

Money’s allure, yet nights of stress prolong.

Should I keep the faith?

Or accept a different wraith?

Forgive me, self, if doctor’s not my fate,

But this childhood dream will never abate.

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