Mental Health

Let Love Lead. I was once asked for some marital… | by Janell Besa | Jan, 2022

Let Love Lead

I was once asked for some marital advice for a newly engaged couple. It was simple and I didn’t even have to think twice before rambling Let.Love.Lead.

I’ve been married for 20 years. We have 3 kids together and I have an older one from a previous relationship and well, to accept a child that is not biologically yours — you need love.

It was immediate from the beginning that we loved eachother for the people that we were. We are polar opposites and our lives growing up we’re vastly different so in the spirit of opposites attract, we immediately had that going for us.

20 years has brought us no shortage of bumps in the road, hard decisions, and arguments. It has also brought us no shortage of kindness, laughter, and happy memories. That’s what a relationship is — the balance, or not so balanced sometimes, between good and bad. The pendulum on your relationship will swing, sometimes swiftly, one way or the other.

The pendulum always finds center. That’s where you start from right? That small, almost invisible center point is where it starts and begins. That folks is your love. Your love for eachother must always lead the way. You will dislike eachother some days, maybe even to a point that you want to hide in your room all day. You will, no doubt, have days where you make eachother cry or so angry that you see red. Find your center. Find your love and ground yourself with why and how it all started.

You will change, your partner will change. Change is good and change is necessary for us. Embrace it. Find the good parts, ignore the annoying parts, communicate about everything, but always find your center — your love. Your love should lead in every decision you make, every change that happens, and every memory logged.


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