Natural Wonders

Moaning tourist’s hilarious one-star review of North Staffordshire natural wonder

It’s one of North Staffordshire’s best natural wonders – a gaping monster of a cave precariously positioned 260ft up on a limestone crag.

The iconic Thor’s Cave with its incredible wide-reaching views across the Manifold Valley has always been a huge draw for keen ramblers.

And it has recently seen a surge in popularity with Instagramers hoping to create a dramatic backdrop for a selfie framed with a near perfect symmetrical stone arch carved by nature.

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Named after the Viking God of Thunder, arrowheads, bone combs, bronze brooches, bracelets and Roman pottery have been found here.

It is estimated to have contained the burial sites of at least seven people.

There’s even a secret second entrance is known as the ‘West Window’, below which is another cave, Thor’s Fissure Cavern.

The beautiful Thor’s Cave in Staffordshire

Along with Dovedale, the Roaches and Lud’s Church, Thor’s Cave is right up there as the best landmark in Staffordshire’s star-studded slice of the Peak District National Park.

But one tourist from the Netherlands was less than impressed when he visited the cavern.

Giving it a measly one star out of a possible five on review site TripAdvisor, the man was not happy with the fact there was nowhere to relieve himself in this unspoilt corner of English countryside.

He also questioned the lack of cafes or restaurants despite the relative proximity of Wetton Mill.

But his biggest complaint seemed to be the amount of energy exerted to get to the cave itself.

The full review reads: “Oh dear what a disappointment! Dreadfully steep walk. No toilets. No refreshments and no organised cave tour guide. Far too remote and lacking in facilities. All in all a complete waste of time!”

Not surprisingly, other reviewers had an entirely different experience.

In fact, of the 157 people to have left reviews on TripAdvisor, 147 have rated it as ‘excellent” or ‘very good’. Overall it scores a 4.5 out of a maximum five stars.

One man wrote: “A remarkably spectacular place, steeped in millennia of history.”

And a woman added: “Must visit. Incredible cave. We couldn’t believe our eyes. We climbed all the way in and explored the two passages further inside. Memorable experience – and it’s free!”

Thor’s Cave is not the first attraction to have received a scathing review from a disgruntled visitor.

The mighty 1,000ft high Thorpe Cloud offers incredible views down Dovedale and across the Midlands plain.

But one review that caught or eye, however, was so bad it was brilliant.

The review reads: “A killer climb up to the top. Equally difficult trek down the hill.

“Nice view though. Shame there was no WiFi in the area there. At least there’s full signal at the top, albeit only 4G. Would have given it 5 stars if there was an escalator to the top, or perhaps a Costa?”

The reviewer also had a few choice words to say about the famous Stepping Stones which cross the River Dove at the foot of Thorpe Cloud.

They added: “The “Stepping Stones” was also a bit busy, with the occasional village idiot wanting to go the opposite direction while everyone is crossing. Some poor soul managed to fall into the water. Stupid fool.

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“And while I’m at it, please don’t come wearing sandals and dress. You are going on a National Trust walk for god sake.”

Despite the rather harsh words, the reviewer did give Thorpe Cloud an ‘average’ three out of five stars.

Oh well, there’s no pleasing some people.

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