Cancer

The Color of Curtains. The Color of Curtains | by susanmfritz | Sep, 2021

A bunch of swatches for curtains! I don’t usually care about the color of my curtains as long as they do their job, but to some — color and texture is everything.
susanmfritz

The Color of Curtains

(this is about COVID)

This feels fairly personal to me…in a roundabout way. It likely feels personal to you in your way — which is to say it feels silly or serious or far away or too close.

I’m not you. I don’t presume to know. None of these factors may influence your opinion or all of them will. This is how we remain Individuals despite the swirl of the conformity tornado which surrounds us; despite the world of Beliefs we were born into; despite our insistence that we are able — dadgummit — to think critically in the midst of infinite influences. (Cripes! That became dark AND confusing, Suz).

Is this sinking in at all…?

First there were the masks. Although they were a blue hue, I was transported back to those days when Dan’s white blood cell count, over the course of a few weeks, dwindled to zero. Zero meant zero immunity. His defense relying upon the precision of other people. Commuting from our apartment in New York City, a city which neither sleeps nor sanitizes its streets, I was asked not only to put on a mask — a yellow one, but a full gown and booties in order to enter his isolation room. Bright yellow like lemons or caution tape.

I didn’t want to — create this barrier between Dan and me, but I did it. It was for him, not me.

Is this thing on…is this sinking in at all…?

I’ll admit, when the unconscious part of my brain knew that things were not going to get better, I put the mask below my nose and moved my face close to his. I held his hand and did not keep my distance. Then again, there was no Fauci or CDC guidance and only the occasional nurse policing what I did. The yellow gown was only a hardhat — it might protect me from the 2X4 but if the building collapsed, the result would always be Game Over.

Tap, tap, tap…can you hear me…? Is this sinking in at all…?

The Bolster your Immune System/Alternative Medicine (for the record — duh — it’s always a common sense idea to seek out natural remedies) crew out there will say mistakes were made earlier on. Dan should have taken a variety of supplements, CrossFitted before it was invented, seen XYZ shaman when his kidneys were failing, had a more consistent meditation practice, watched less DVD extras of Lord of the Rings, and/or worked less in his early 20s to prevent the cancer which was diagnosed at age 29.

Fair enough…nope. Not fair enough.

You would have worn the gown.

You would have worn the booties.

You would have worn the mask.

To reference, as I have before, my favorite Magnum, P.I. quote: I know what you’re thinking…

“This is different; this is less serious; that was an unusual situation; this isn’t cancer; I’ll be fine; It’s like the flu; I don’t wanna…!”

Faaaaaiiirrrr…nope. Not fair enough.

This is actually different. Although you might not trust The Powers That Be (healthy skepticism is a good thing), we actually know how to correct this pandemic. (ALARM BELLS — I CAN HEAR YOUR HEAD EXPLODING!!!) When I say “correct”, I don’t imply perfection or that some people won’t get sick anyway or that The Powers are also learning as they go, but as I told friends after I got my first shot, “If I grow two heads from this — you’re welcome. I took one for the team.”

So far (and it’s actually too bad…two heads are better than one), I’ve still only got the one head. In other words, unless the side-effects happen a while down the road, the vaccine is doing its job of preventing death. And call me an underachiever, but that standard is good enough for me.

***

We should live lives in good health. We shouldn’t drink poisons for breakfast or do drugs for lunch (although…pot, meet kettle for many of us…what’s in that hot dog again…?). But when given a lifeboat, we also shouldn’t question if it’s BPA free.

Is your boat sinking yet…is this sinking in at all?

Most of you, at least when it’s your person, would wear the gown and take the panacea of perceived poison. Death’s door is too late to get picky about the color of your curtains.


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